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How to Ask for a Referral And Actually Get One!

asking for referralsI listen to a lot of elevator speeches, and sometimes people ask for a referral and sometimes they don’t. Much of the time, however, even when they ask, they ask for something vague. To get a referral, you need to be specific. Let’s talk about how.

The key is asking in a way which will get your audience’s brains working. You can do this one of two ways.

1. You can ask for an introduction to a specific person

I mean that exactly the way it sounds. Ask for a specific person, by name, company and title. “I’d really like an introduction to John Smith, CEO of Virginia Colony Corp.” This will get your everyone’s brains in gear while they try to think if they know John.

You’d be surprised how often this works. I’ve seen people raise their hands in meetings and say “I know him.”

And what if they don’t know him? That’s okay. Our brains will make connections. Maybe I don’t know John Smith or anyone else at Virginia Colony Corp. But I might know Cecil Calvert at Maryland Colony Corp. If I do, then I should ask you if Cecil would be a good referral for you.

Either way, you’ve been successful at getting me to say “tell me more,” which is a good start to a referral conversation.

What if you don’t know of a particular person to ask for? Not a problem. You can…

2. Ask “Who do you know who?”

This method works if you are looking for a class of people. Examples:

“Who do you know who is paying too much for car insurance?”

“Who do you know who is unhappy with their web traffic from search engines?”

“Who do you know needs to network and doesn’t know how?”

“Who do you know who is a Keller Williams realtor?”

“Who do you know who” is powerful because it can’t be answered with “yes” or “no,” so we can’t default to no action.

I watched this in action with one of my clients at a networking event. After every conversation, he would ask for a referral. Sometimes he said, “Do you know someone who?” and sometimes he would ask “Who do you know who?” He’d been working the event the right way, so people were motivated to try to help him. Everyone he asked thought about it. But when he asked “who do you know who,” they thought longer. Noticeably longer.

Either method will work. If you’ve engaged our emotions with a solid story and then follow it up with a good referral request, you are working comfortably in our buy cycle, and with our inclinations and psychology. You won’t get a referral every time. But you’ll get one often enough to keep you in business. And a lot more often than your competitors, who probably don’t use these strategies.

Anyone looking for a specific referral and want to give it a try? Go ahead and post your request in the comments. Maybe another reader will have a referral for you.

Image courtesy of bplanet at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

  • You have the best advice for networking. I really appreciate the examples of how to say it too. In the past I wanted to meet people but too afraid to ask. I’ll remember to try it.

    • admin

      @Joanne, Thank you!

      And never be afraid to ask. Most people are willing to help, but it’s on us to tell them how.

  • “Who do you know who ____?” is a great question.